Drunk Dialing
by Nightlingbolt-1000
Summary: Natsu's tired. Jellal's drunk. Jellal calls Natsu. They talk about Erza. Jellal has a revelation. What more should I say? Rated M because Jellal's kind of a vulgar drunk. Natza, one-sided Jerza, Jellalx?


**Hello, people. Nightlingbolt here, under the -1000 account this time around. Welcome to my little mess, which I affectionately like to call "Drunk Dialing." This is just a random plotbunny I had, and it seemed like a good idea at the time, so... yeah.**

**But I guess this fulfills a niche as practice for a pairing I plan to do in Scenes, which is kind of nice, I guess. I just ask that you lower your expectations on this one. Excluding this Author's Note, and the one at the end, this is only 985 words, hence the -1000 account. I guess I can't really say much more without spoiling the pairing, so on with the fic!**

**I do not own Fairy Tail, Hiro Mashima does.**

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><p>Natsu Dragneel was sleeping in his own bed for once. He had come back late from an especially tedious solo mission to find some old lady's cats – the damn things had run him all over two towns and the outskirts of a third! And let's not even get into having to use transportation to get back to Magnolia!<p>

Needless to say, he was tired, he was cranky, and Lucy didn't deserve him being short with her, so he stuck Happy with her for the night just so the Exceed wouldn't wake him up in the morning. Unfortunately, his dreams of fighting Laxus while Erza cheered him on in a skimpy cheerleader outfit were cut short by the hum of the Communication Lacrima that all guild members were required to own so their Master could contact them if required.

Groaning, Natsu trudged out of bed towards the Lacrima. A wave of his hand revealed the caller to be none other than Jellal Fernandes, one of the three new members of Fairy Tail, along with Ultear and Meredy.

Natsu didn't really know what Makarov had told the Council to get them to allow those three into the guild, but he never really cared. All he knew was that the former Crime Sorciere mages were now officially his nakama.

They had integrated with the guild already. Ultear had formed a sort of bond with Erza over embarrassing stories about Jellal, and Mirajane had taken Meredy under her wing, which was yet to be determined a good or bad thing. Jellal had easily earned the friendship of Gajeel, Laxus, and the Raijinshu, among others, but Natsu himself had been the hardest nut to crack.

So why was the ex-Wizard Saint calling him at half-past midnight?

"What, Jellal? I'm sleeping," grunted Natsu.

"Ohhhh, Natsu!" said Jellal with a slight slur, indicating he'd been drinking. Great, just what Natsu needed. Jellal drunk dialing him. "Did I wake ya?"

"Yeah," said Natsu, surprisingly patient. He just didn't have it in him right now. "Look, I'll talk to you tomorrow at the guild, 'kay?"

"No!" exclaimed Jellal. "This... this can't wait, okay? It's impooooortant!"

Natsu sighed. It had better be. "What?" he said with a slight growl.

"So... how's things wit Erza?" asked Jellal.

Natsu massaged his temple. Why couldn't this wait until morning again? "Good," he replied.

Yes, Natsu and Erza were dating. He was reluctant to make his move once Jellal officially joined up, fearing Erza's rejection, but a push from Lucy later, and Erza was explaining why she was attracted to him rather than Jellal, and from there, they were official. Jellal had seemed hurt by the news, but he gave a smile that said he expected it.

That was about three days ago, and it was obvious to Natsu that Jellal was drinking because of it. So he figured he'd better let Jellal vent; aside from more intimacy, things hadn't really changed between Natsu and Jellal. She still beat him and Gray up whenever they were fighting, he still had yet to defeat her, and she would still murder his ass if anything happened to her best friend.

Then Jellal said something he never would've said sober. "Ya fuck her yet?"

"What!" Natsu yelled into the orb. "How much did you have to drink, man?"

"Don' change the subject on me, ya sunnavabitch!" yelled Jellal. "Did ya fuck Erza yet! Yes or no!"

"Fine! No!" Natsu snarled. "We only got together this week, asshole!" Sweet Igneel, he was way too tired for this!

"Ya betta soon then," said Jellal. "Don' lose yer chance like I did."

"Yeah, that's a conversation I wanna have," grumbled Natsu.

"See, you... you got somethin' I don't have," said Jellal. "Erza's not scared of ya. I could be wit' her, but there's always gonan be that hinta doubt. Am I good? Am I bad? God only knows. All I know is... I don't wanna hurt her again..."

"You know I'd incinerate you before that happens," said Natsu, though the threat was dampened due to his mood.

"Yeah," said Jellal. "I pretty much gave up on Erza when I teamed up with Meredy and Ultear. Punishment! That was the law of Crime Sorciere. Natsu!" The Dragon Slayer only nodded, so Jellal took that as a cue to continue. "Ahhh, Ultear. Yanno, I owe that woman my life. She gave me a shot at redemption, Council be damned. Kickin' ass, takin' down dark guilds... best six years of my life, Natsu.

"And yanno what? Ultear's been a total sweetheart since we formed Crime Sorciere. I mean, I thought she was hot before, but since she broke me outta jail, we've grown close. I mean, I'm close wit Meredy too, yanno, but I'm even closer wit Ultear. She's smart, patient, kind... beautiful..."

"He liiiiiiiiiikes her," Natsu mumbled to himself. Unfortunately, Jellal heard him.

"I like her?" he repeated. "I like Ultear?"

"...I guess?" replied a confused Natsu.

Jellal was silent for a few moments. Then it hit him like a ton of bricks. "Shit... I do like Ultear..."

"Ummm... good for you?" said Natsu, still unsure of himself.

"Oh, fuck," said Jellal. "Oh, fuck! Ohfuckohfuckohfuckoh-!"

CLANG! An iron club hit Jellal in the back of the head, knocking him out. Seconds later, the image of Gajeel came up on the Lacrima.

"Sorry," said the Iron Dragon Slayer. "Laxus and I took him out drinking. The guy's a fucking lightweight!"

"I'm hanging up now," said Natsu. "Get Jellal home so Erza doesn't murder you."

"Well where the hell does he live?" asked Gajeel.

"Not my problem," said Natsu. He deactivated the Lacrima as Gajeel yelled "SALAMANDER!" and headed to bed. And as he started to fall back asleep, he debated whether to tell Erza about Jellal's apparent crush on Ultear.

Nah, he thought. After all, how often do you get good blackmail on a guy like Jellal?

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><p><strong>, that wasn't so bad, was it? Not my best work, of course, but what can you do? My words can't all be silver, can they?<strong>

**I mean, I honestly think this couple has potential. I mean, traditionalists will argue Jerza to the death, but come on, Jellal and Ultear have been working together for six years (that's if you don't count when she was brainwashing him), there's gotta be at least one semi-romantic moment between them. That seven-year timeskip is a treasure trove of fanfic material, like the rise of Sabertooth, or Raven Tail becoming legal. Someone else can delve into that, because I sure as hell won't.**

**So review if you support JellUl. and even if you don't, review if you can tolerate something other than NaLu or Jerza. Or better yet, I may continue this under Nightlingbolt (of course, I'd bring this up to 1000 words before I even consider it), so review if you want that. But whatever your reason, your support is very much appreciated. And Alerts and Favorites are also welcome, as they support me as a writer and give me a reason to do this crap. Not that I need a reason... I guess the right word is "encouragement."**

**So I'd better knock this off before the alerts have more words than the story, plus I need to pray at the Porcelain Temple, so until then, peace and love from Nightlingbolt.**


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